synics

THEME
I am sorry for filling you with beer and bad thoughts and then asking you why you shook. I am sorry for pinching you, for hitting you, for bruising the thin-skinned parts of you. I am sorry for the names I called you when we were fighting. You are not ugly. You are not useless. You would not be better off gone. I’m sorry for almost throwing you out into the street because my sadness was too much for me. I’m sorry for carving my fingernails into your thigh and then resenting the way people asked, “How’d that happen?” I’m sorry for plucking you and nicking your calves with drugstore razors. I’m sorry I let some people see you in the moonlight. They didn’t deserve to know the color of your hips like I do. I’m sorry for leaving you convulsing over a toilet bowl over some boy. I’m sorry I did not thank you for simply trying to take me where I wanted to go. I’m sorry I screamed at you to shrink, shrink, shrink when all you could do was grow. I’m sorry that this apology is ten years too late. I’m sorry that it will probably come again. I’m sorry that I do not treat anybody else as poorly as I have treated you. I’m sorry that I am constantly learning how to love you, when you have never once doubted how you feel about me. I’m sorry in ways I have not yet learned to communicate.

An Apology to My Body | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

(via lora-mathis)


Rebecca ChaperonDetail of “Lady of the Pink Lake”


Acrylic on Canvas  18” x 24”
62

unsedated:

the bed was left unmade when
we rose at the break of
dawn. the sheets were
crumpled and every surface
collected dust from the lack of
disturbance. the room was
preserved by time, unaging and
unchanging. whenever i open the
door and look, i am tempted to
go back but my body knows
better than to force itself into a
dimension where
abandonment is oxygen and
shards of dreams are
sustenance. the past has an
atmosphere of fumes; i do not
want to die
choking.

(via unsedated)

"요즘 내 모습 " by Yoon Do Hyun feat. Tablo, K.Will from 노래하는 윤도현